A few facts > Children and Domestic Violence
Children and Domestic Violence A Few Facts... About Witnessing the violence Over 3 million children are at risk of exposure to parental violence each year. The majority of the children from violent homes observe the violence inflicted by their fathers upon their mothers; most research suggests as many as 90 percent of children from violent homes witness their fathers battering their mothers About the Effects of Witnessing Violence Children who witness violence at home display emotional and behavioral disturbances as diverse as withdrawal, low self-esteem, nightmares, self-blame and aggression against peers, family members and property. A comparison of delinquent and nondelinquent youth found that a history of family violence or abuse is the most significant difference between the two groups. In comparing children not exposed to violence as contrasted to children who witness violence and children who both witness and are abused, data suggest that the latter two groups are most comparable and have heightened behavioral and emotional distress as compared to the former Boys become aggressive, fighting with siblings and schoolmates and having temper tantrums. Girls are more likely to become passive, clinging, and withdrawn. About Domestic Violence and Child Abuse In a national survey of over 6,000 American families, 50% of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children. Child abuse is 15 times more likely to occur in families where domestic violence is present. Older children are frequently assaulted when they intervene to defend or protect their mothers. Female abuse is also the context for sexual abuse of female children. In households where the mother is assaulted by the father, daughters are exposed to a risk of sexual abuse 6.5 times greater than girls in nonabusive families About Witnessing DV and Violence Later in Life Men who have witnessed their parents domestic violence are three times more likely to abuse their own wives than children of non-violent parents, with the sons of the most violent parents being 1000 times more likely to become perpetrators of domestic abuse. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in Children Traumatic stress is produced by exposure to events that are so extreme or severe and threatening, that they demand extraordinary coping efforts. Such events are often unpredicted and uncontrollable. They overwhelm a person's sense of safety and security. Children are more at risk for post traumatic stress disorder than adults because they lack the cognitive abilities as well as the emotional understanding that helps people cope with traumatic events such as witnessing battering. From the point of view of a child, domestic violence is more than "daddy hits mommy" or "daddy says that mommy is stupid". From their point of view, their main attachment figure and source of life is being attacked and hurt by an equally loved adult who alternates between acts of violence and acts of love. This is all very confusing for children to witness. More than half of the school-age children in domestic violence shelters show clinical levels of anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorder. Without treatment, these children are at significant risk for delinquency, substance abuse, school drop-out, and difficulties in their own relationships. Children may exhibit a wide range of reactions to exposure to violence in their home. Younger children (e.g., pre-school and kindergarten) oftentimes, do not understand the meaning of the abuse they observe and tend to believe that they "must have done something wrong." Self-blame can precipitate feelings of guilt, worry, and anxiety. It is important to consider that children, especially younger children, typically do not have the ability to adequately express their feelings verbally. Consequently, the manifestation of these emotions are often behavioral. Children may become withdrawn, non-verbal, and exhibit regressed behaviors such as clinging and whining. Eating and sleeping difficulty, concentration problems, generalized anxiety, and physical complaints (e.g., headaches) are all common. Unlike younger children, the pre-adolescent child typically has greater ability to externalize negative emotions (e.g., to verbalize). In addition to symptoms commonly seen with childhood anxiety (e.g., sleep problems, eating disturbance, nightmares), victims within this age group may show a loss of interest in social activities, low self-concept, withdrawal or avoidance of peer relations, rebelliousness and oppositional-defiant behavior in the school setting. It is also common to observe temper tantrums, irritability, frequent fighting at school or between siblings, lashing out at objects, treating pets cruelly or abusively, threatening of peers or siblings with violence (e.g., "give me a pen or I will smack you"), and attempts to gain attention through hitting, kicking, or choking peers and/or family members. Incidentally, girls are more likely to exhibit withdrawal and unfortunately, run the risk of being overlooked as a child in need of support. Adolescents are at risk of academic failure, school drop-out, delinquency, and substance abuse. Some investigators have suggested that a history of family violence or abuse is the most significant difference between delinquent and non delinquent youth. An estimated 1/5 to 1/3 of all teenagers who are involved in dating relationships are regularly abusing or being abused by their partners verbally, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and/or physically (SASS, 1996). To Help Kids Who Have Witnessed DV. Provide them with a space to talk about what happened. Younger kids may lack the ability to express their emotions. Perhaps propose drawing activities to help them express themselves and what happened. Do not push the child to talk, he will in his own time. Rather, create an ambiance which is favorable to confidence and the expression of emotions. Do not make promises to "keep the secret" because if the child divulges abuse on himself (or herself), you won't be able to keep that promise. Rather, tell the child that he/she is safe with you and that if there is something he/she would like to talk about, you will be able to help. Tell the child it wasn't her/his fault. If the child shows violent behaviors it is important to take position against violence, in all its shapes or forms. However, it is important to remember that most children who suffer from PTSD will act out and thus, their "violence" is not a sign that the child is himself "violent like his father". In this sense, it is important to give the child a space to express his anger and feelings in non-threatening ways. These children do not need to be disciplined, they need to be understood. Give the child some time to open up to you. His/her trust has been harshly tested and it may take them time to open up to your efforts. It may be important to seek professional consultation for children who have witnessed domestic violence. Never give up on a child. http://www.dvic.org/Children-and-Domestic-Violence.php