Court comments of rape victim's mom **Very Powerful statement that I think all should read**
Last Updated: 5:38 am | Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Court comments of rape victim's mom
THE ENQUIRER
These are the comments a Mason mother made in a Warren County courtroom Monday when serial rapist Dean Strunk was sentenced to 29 years in prison. Her daughter was assaulted by Strunk on April 13, 1998:
"How could anyone possibly express how this man's actions have affected our family in a few sentences? I guess the bigger question would be how has this not changed our lives? When your 14-year-old comes screaming into your room in the middle of the night that a man took her out of the house and raped her, you grab her hands and scream, "Are you awake? Are you dreaming?"
"You pick up the phone to call police, but the phone's dead. You go into your kitchen and your front and back doors are standing open. You pick up your kitchen phone because you can't even believe that this could be true.
"You can't find your cell phone. It's gone. You go out your front door not knowing which way to turn, and you see your neighbor leaving for work, and you go up to his car, and you tell him you need to use his phone to call the police.
"You answer the operator's meaningless questions, that you have no idea what the answers are. Back inside the house, you wait for police as you watch your daughter curled up in a closet rocking back and forth, saying, "He's coming back if I tell."
"Once at the hospital, they do a rape kit on a child that really has no clue why someone would do something like this or even what a rape kit entails. You hold her hand and you cry through the whole thing, trying to reassure her that everything will be alright. Except nothing will ever be the same again.
"How do you erase the memories of something so terrible?
"Once you leave, you go home and you pull up to find out that this man had come through your front window. Why would this happen to us?
"It's all my fault. We were watching movies that we had rented from the video store with our family that night, and it started getting cool. So I reached up and closed the window. And, I didn't lock it.
"We went to bed and left our kids up to watch movies. There's no school tomorrow. But, we have to go to work.
"Guess what? We never made it there. From that moment on, we were forever changed.
"We did not protect our kids. We did not hear someone (come) in our house and take our child. Why, why did you pick us?
"She slept between her dad and myself for a week -- if you could call what she did 'sleep.' She would never sleep more than 30 minutes at a time and she would wake up screaming 'He's coming to get me.'
"My husband would walk up and down the middle of the street in the night because he couldn't sleep. We had to have an alarm system installed so that she could feel safe in her own home.
"We became overprotective and thought we could watch our kids at all time.
"School was not a priority to a girl who used to be on the honor roll. Kids can be really cruel, screaming down the hall, 'Hey...did you really get raped?'
"Her freshman and sophomore years, she barely got by with Ds. I would have to call teachers and talk to them about assignments and tell them what happened to her.
"Try reading books that talk about rape, and she listened to kids' opinions who really have no idea what rape is or who it affects their victim. How do you give your opinion without giving up your right to privacy?
"This is an entry from (daughter's) journal from Oct. 1998:
"Today, it's Mason's green and white day. You know, the usual thing. The football player acting all tough. I don't know how much longer I can act so tough. I try to kill myself - well, hurt myself, real bad. Every since what happened to me, I don't even think I can live anymore. I can't stand the fighting at home each day or even to live much longer.
"You know the song 'Masquerade?'
"That's how I feel -- always trying to hide my true feelings about what happened to me. You guys talk about it in class. Seems like you talk about it all the time. It makes me feel really frustrated. It makes me want to leave the room crying. It's hard.
"To talk about, let alone hear about. It seems like it always comes into my head. Almost everyone knows about it. It seems like the whole world. I can't stand people talking about it. Can't they just stop? But if I tell you what happened to me, you'll look at me different.
"If you haven't already guessed, it was something we talked about Oct. 8. I was raped. Could you please try to stop talking about it? Please?"
"In the middle of her junior year, she decided that this was no longer going to rule her life. School became a priority again and the joy that she once had returned. She finished her senior year with highest honors. I wonder how this all would have turned out if none of this happened. Would she have gotten scholarships? There's no way to ever know.
"She went away to college her first year and transferred home. She stayed home for two more years. Now, she's out of state studying to be a teacher. She loves kids so much. And she's going to be an awesome teacher.
"Just to let you know her heart, one of her first questions to police was "How is his little girl?"
"Over these years, we've spent countless trips to the emergency room with panic attacks and unexplained health issues, numerous procedures, x-rays, sonograms, bone scans, endoscopies and even a colonoscopy -- procedures that someone in their teen years should not have to endure. Medicines too many to count to treat heartburn and stomach problems that they can't find a reason for. The amazing part is that since Dean's arrest all of the heartburn has disappeared. No more medicine.
"This man stole our daughter's youth.
"She had to grow up way before her time. Our family has had to deal with things you only see in movies. They don't happen to real people, especially not to us. I have not slept a single night all the way through in 7½ years. If my kids are one minute late I call their cell phone. If I don't get an answer, my thoughts turn to all kinds of horrific things.
"One day I asked her why she didn't fight back. She said, "He said he'd kill me, and I believed him, and I didn't want to die.'"
"I thank god every day that she is still here all in one piece, no scars that anyone can see.
"At first, we could think of nothing else except what this animal had done -- every minute of every day. Then there became minutes of the day that we didn't think about it. Little by little our lives seemed to get back to normal .
"But what is normal?
"If it has not been for our faith in God, our family, our friends and our church family that surrounded us with love and support I don't know that we would have made it through this.
"Dean, I just want you to know that we prayed every day for 7½ years that you would be caught.
"When the police called, we felt relieved. When we saw your picture, it meant nothing, even though they kept telling us we might know you. Just an empty feeling.
"We thought this was finally over but it was just the beginning. We weren't ready for the media knocking on our door wanting our story. How could they be so insensitive -- having to relive the pain and suffering that you caused us again?
"But now we can put a face to this. No more bogeyman. No more fear of the unknown. No more leaving the house with 911 dialed on the cell phone with my finger on the send button, just in case. You can't hide behind your mask anymore.
"Home is supposed to be a place you are safe. You have taken that away from us forever.
"We don't have any hatred toward you. We really just feel sorry for you.
"Now that you have a child of your own to worry about every minute of every day, how will you protect her from a person like you, her bogeyman?
"How will you explain to her what you did to these girls and why?
"Who will be there to comfort your daughter from her fears?
"Your daughter is the same age that my youngest daughter was when you invaded our lives. Now it's your turn. Your child will have to grow up before her time trying to understand how her dad could do something like this.
"When I think of you, I say a prayer for her - that she will be as strong as my daughter has been in spite of you."
http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060214/NEWS01/302140005/1056/NEWS0103
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