Learn to be S.A.F.E. against domestic violence/Miss Learn to be S.A.F.E. against domestic violence
7/25/2006 5:15:33 PM
Itawamba
By ADAM ARMOUR
Staff Writer
A harsh voice, a blocked doorway, a clenched fist, a raised hand — domestic violence is a cruel reality that affects one out of every five women.
In 2004, the Itawamba County Sheriff’s Department reported 103 arrests related to domestic violence.
According to Shelter and Assistance in Family Emergencies, Inc. (S.A.F.E.), domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women; outnumbering car accidents, muggings and rapes combined.
In the United States alone, a woman is battered every 12 seconds, bringing an annual total of three to four million women beaten by their husbands or boyfriends.
S.A.F.E., Inc. is a Tupelo based organization that provides emergency shelter and services to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. Since 1979, S.A.F.E. has been aiding abused women and men in nine Mississippi counties, including Itawamba.
“In 2003, Mississippi was ranked ninth in the number of females murdered by males,” said Debra Yates, executive director of S.A.F.E. Considering more than 40 percent of all female homicide victims are killed by their husbands or boyfriends, it’s clear that domestic violence is a problem hitting close to home.
S.A.F.E. offers both a shelter in an undisclosed location for victims of abuse and counseling programs for both the abused and abusers.
“We provide, first, safety and shelter, and under that umbrella of shelter, we provide food, clothing, daycare, transportation, counseling, support group and case management,” Yates said. “Most of the people are self-referral; they just pick up the phone and call our 800 number. But we have referrals from hospitals, doctor’s offices and law enforcement.”
One of the important keys to bringing victims into the shelter is being able to identify them as victims in the first place. Although most women, and in some cases men, are self-referred, friends and family must be alert to some of the signs of abuse.
“Jealousy is probably the biggest indicator,” Yates said. “Especially with younger — younger women seem to think that love and jealousy go hand-in-hand — making off the wall accusations.”
According to Yates other signs include quick involvement followed by constant contact and controlling behavior, such as his telling her what to wear, how to act and cutting her off from family and friends.
“Isolation is one of the biggest things; not letting her work,” Yates said. “What happens if you have a job? The very first thing is you’ve got resources — you’ve got money. You’ve also got a network of friends who can help you out at work. Human resources is always a good place to get information and help.”
Additionally, clothing can be an indicator of abuse. Abused women will often wear long sleeves and heavy clothing during even the hottest weather in order to hide their bruises and shame.
But physical abuse is just one of the many forms of domestic violence.
“You can’t have just physical abuse; there’s always the name calling and the put-downs that go along with that,” Yates said. “Now you can have just psychological abuse, where the abuser never hits them or pushes them or anything like that. But emotional and physical just go hand-in-hand.”
Unfortunately, many women continue to live in abusive situations, staying with their abusers out of fear, guilt, lack of self esteem, sex-role conditioning or his promises to reform. However, Yates believes that if the woman continues to live in a powder keg situation, eventually things will explode. The abuse will not stop until she makes an effort to bring it to an end.
“If a woman ever said, ‘He only hit me one time,’ if you question her you will find out he’s been verbally abusive a long time,” Yates said. “If there’s no intervention after the first hit, he’s going to continue doing it because it got him what he wanted.”
For every four happy households in America, there is one filled with sadness, anger and violence.
Domestic abuse is a crime of rage, power and control, and although institutions like S.A.F.E. exist to aid the victims in these dangerous situations, it is inevitably up to the abused to take control of the situation and seek help against the violence.
For more information on domestic violence or to make a referral, contact S.A.F.E. at 1-800-527-7233.
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